|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
|
i adore the friendship so much.
to have a friend to be there for me is one of the greatest things in life which sadly i don't have.
awww seriously, mom needs to come asap because i'm running super low on cash.
socializing is costly. dining out it expensive.
and i hate that person who won that 40 million lottery.
plus, should i just flip a coin?
how do i choose?
urgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
killing me.
| | |
| i'm quite restless with the fact that there are more people reading this blog. no offence but i don't really like to see people linking my blog, because i don't write here to gain more publicity. oh then you will ask, why don't i make it private? because i'm hoping for some particular people to read it. so i'm wishing that there is something which avoid some people reading it while allowing some people to do so? or i could monitor who's reading it?
see, the more people that are reading this, the more topics i can't mention here. if you know me well, you should know that i basically don't trust people, not in the way that i think they will betray me or something. i'm thinking it's my problem, i'm restless, insecure and pessimistic. i'm too afraid to invest too much in friendships or relationships because a friend will simply choose material over you, or a partner that suddenly think that someone's better than you?
some people told me they want to have more friends, in fact i do have but i dare not say too many, enough to throw a big party especially if the hi-bye friends are invited. the point is, regardless of the amount of friends i have, ironically i do not share my problems with not even one of them. it's like when i killed someone, i do not know who to call for help. okay, that might be a little extreme.
to be honest, i miss brisbane a lot. i love the weather so much i don't mind looking at the clear blue sky all day. i miss that gold coast trip with a bunch of japanese/koreans whereby english is the main language used for our communication.
i'm tired, really tired. that mistake haunts me. you know, after watching '2012' i actually hope that the world would end in 2012, so i can plan the remaining 3 years properly. and that i can don't give a damn about that mistake anymore.
there is always a way when things look like there is no way.
true enough. there is always a way, but it doesn't guarantee that it is a way that you wanted. most of the times we are forced to accept it. i screwed it up, so yea, there is always a way but i most probably don't like it.
ahh sorry for the random emo-ness. i will be better tomorrow after the outing.
till then.
| | |
| Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
seriously, too much of damien rice made me drowned into the emo-ness. i wish i could pause the time now, so i have sufficient time to do nothing but being emo.
have you heard of the kubler-ross model? the 5 stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. i realized i experienced the first 4 stages except the last one. each time when i reached the depression stage, instead of moving to the last stage, i headed back to denial.
when you know that you just don't know.
| | |
| just updating for the sake of updating. since my 'gay' good friend asked me to update, so i'm here to write this piece of crap.
so, this is going to be emo. because i'm currently clueless about my future, all i could think of is holidays. i wish someone could lead me to the correct path.
sigh, why can't i just be happy? why is it so hard to make things right?
i hate this feeling of waiting for exams to start, when i'm so tired of studying already. it's like, urgh.. whatever just hope that the exams come asap.
i'm depressed. i just received a depression checklist from beyondblue, honestly i could tick almost all the symptomos listed. well, some people do think that i'm depressed. actually, at some point i do think i'm, it's like i can't help but being depressed.
haha. sigh. sniff.
till then.
| | |
|  yes, meredith grey. :) | | |
|
|
